I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
