Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
