someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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