If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
