FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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