I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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