new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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