I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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