quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
