I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize