y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize