youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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