Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
