I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
