Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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