I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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