Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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