PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
