they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
