i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
