get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
