I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
