he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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