cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
