Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
