Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
