I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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