awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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