Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
