There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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