I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
