I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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