Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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