Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
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my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!