Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

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(313): Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch. http://tfl.nu/eota

Replies (14) Good night (895) Bad night (3324)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.

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(920): Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uu2t

Replies (6) Good night (1686) Bad night (5572)
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(954): View more from Florida

so i told him i still liked him. he laughed

(1-954): View more from Florida

well, your crazy. what did you expect?

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(954): so i told him i still liked him. he laughed (1-954): well, your crazy. what did you expect? http://tfl.nu/3mre

Replies (52) Good night (842) Bad night (3655)
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(916): View more from California

And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.

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(916): And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides. http://tfl.nu/gjkd

Replies (29) Good night (1629) Bad night (3391)
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(812): View more from Indiana

i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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(812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr

Replies (7) Good night (5609) Bad night (1104)
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(408): View more from California

How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

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(408): How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...? http://tfl.nu/cucy

Replies (15) Good night (6778) Bad night (1028)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i

Replies (24) Good night (5169) Bad night (1247)
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(315): View more from New York

so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

(315): View more from New York

here comes the puke

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(315): so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese (315): here comes the puke http://tfl.nu/32gj

Replies (18) Good night (1240) Bad night (4612)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'

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(804): i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better' http://tfl.nu/bjkh

Replies (4) Good night (2005) Bad night (976)
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(309): View more from Illinois

It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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(309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk

Replies (5) Good night (2132) Bad night (1277)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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(304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed

Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (782)
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(518): View more from New York

I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants

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(518): I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants http://tfl.nu/tuxk

Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (1349)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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(262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe

Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (566)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

(216): View more from Ohio

Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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(330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp

Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (484)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?

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(217): I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been? http://tfl.nu/gh9w

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (248)

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