Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

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(561): View more from Florida

And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.

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(425): View more from Washington

Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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(308): View more from Nebraska

The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad

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(330): View more from Ohio

I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.

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