Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.