It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do