Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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  (650): in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL", http://tfl.nu/9mnv
  Replies (24) Good night (3029) Bad night (2411)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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  (724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu
  Replies (32) Good night (1483) Bad night (3704)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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  (575): The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order" http://tfl.nu/htwe
  Replies (18) Good night (13080) Bad night (1318)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7434) Bad night (1010)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death

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  (817): I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death http://tfl.nu/7rv2
  Replies (9) Good night (3025) Bad night (1316)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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  (541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (1222)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

  (916): View more from California

  you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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  (971): he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out (916): you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it http://tfl.nu/3y26
  Replies (11) Good night (2241) Bad night (693)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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  (412): it's like my freshman wet dream come true http://tfl.nu/8b08
  Replies (3) Good night (1064) Bad night (488)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

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  (403): Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards. http://tfl.nu/sqj0
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (589)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1283) Bad night (550)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day

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  (613): How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day http://tfl.nu/h9s2
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (326)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (370)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

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  (778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr
  Replies (16) Good night (360) Bad night (890)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.

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  (857): btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you. http://tfl.nu/me5v
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (630)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".

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  (804): Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex". http://tfl.nu/cpfg
  Replies (5) Good night (344) Bad night (212)

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