sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
