And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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