Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
