Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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