I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize