Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
