Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
