You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
