i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
