You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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