I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
