I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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