So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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