She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
