I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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