My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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