the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
