I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
