you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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