i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
