that's an acceptable place to lick
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Someone shattered a urinal.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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