Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
love makes seman taste better
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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