Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
