Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
