idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
