I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
