Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Your penis caused this!
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